Heaven on Earth

     I honestly believe that over the course of your lifetime you find one place that absolutely consumes your heart. This place is meant to be your safe haven, your calm in the storm, your Heaven on Earth. Now this place can be your home, your room, your favorite spot in the woods or like my case, my summer job. These places leave a stamp on your heart that will never and can never be replaced by the things of this world. At these places you are taken aback from the world, you are in a bubble, and whatever happens is all up to you. Take the famed book Bridge to Terabithia, in this book these two children create a magical paradise that secludes them from the world and all of its harms; for me this is Camp Burnt Gin.

     Three years ago I was an aspiring Special Education teacher with big dreams for my future classroom. Knowing that I didn't want to spend another summer at home with nothing to do I go searching for a job in my future field to help me get some real world experience. As I go to Google, I type in "Special needs camps in South Carolina" and Camp Burnt Gin pops up. It is mid-January but I go ahead and apply because I knew that it would be a good experience. With CBG being about an hour from my home in West Columbia, I knew that it would be a convenient drive for the days that I have off so I can come home and spend time with my family. From October to the end of February I had been battling a bad cold, and kept getting pushed from doctor to doctor. I finally found out that I had mono, and was told to stay home on doctors orders for the next week; my interview with the camp director was that Wednesday. By Wednesday I was finally able to muster up enough lung capacity to talk to the camp director for over an hour for my interview which was one of the most nerve-racking moments of my life. Weeks later I was offered a position as a camp counselor at Camp Burnt Gin for the summer of 2013, and boy was I in for a surprise.

     I knew very little of what I was actually going into when I took the position at camp. I have a brother with Autism and he is very independent and then I have worked with Special Needs kids since middle school, but never on an extended basis. I decided to visit camp during the opening clean up day just to see if it was something I could handle. That day I learned how to clean a cabin, that didn't have air conditioning, I met new friends, and I saw where I would call home for the next eight weeks. Little did I know that these next eight weeks would change my whole perspective as a future educator and as a person. These eight weeks changed my life, and kept me coming back.

     Mrs. Marie, our camp director, has worked at Camp Burnt Gin for over thirty years. She recently told the staff a story about a counselor who went on to work at the Governors School for Arts and Humanities. During a conversation with this former counselor, who had only worked one summer at camp, he shares one very important thing that has stuck with me for the past two weeks, "Eight weeks. It took eight weeks, and I think about it every day of my life." This is now my third summer at camp and the words that were said have never made more sense to me.

     Every year I go back to school with new stories, new memories, and a new perspective on life. Camp Burnt Gin has given me so much more than I could have ever asked for out of a summer job. I have so many new friends, some amazing best friends, and the best memories. I am now apart of a new family, the Burnt Gin family. This family never quits, never gives up, and never loses. Camp Burnt Gin is not just a summer camp to these kids, it is something they look forward to all year. This is the best week of the year for most of these kids, and it's a place that they can go to feel normal for a week. Here at camp, we allow these kids to be their own kind of normal. We take them boating, they learn nature, sports, arts and crafts, fine arts, they eat with a cabin for the week, they sleep in a cabin together, they cry together they laugh together, they become a family.

     Burnt Gin is more than just a summer camp, and it is so frustrating that the powers that be want to close down this safe haven. When you look at it, Camp Burnt Gin is the best bang for the buck in South Carolina. Most special needs camps cost upwards of +$500 a week just so they can get the "adequate" care that these children need. Camp Burnt Gin is of no cost to these families, and these kids get more than the best that they need the week they are with our staff. Camp Burnt Gin is my safe haven, as well as many other current and former staff. I can't imagine spending my summers anywhere else. Throughout my years here at CBG, I have watched myself change for the better. Thank you Camp Burnt Gin for being this place for not only me but hundreds of others over the years. Happy 70th birthday!


Forever grateful,

Lauren

A letter to Dylann Roof

Many people know of the tragedy that took place in Charleston last month. Dylann Roof entered an African American church in downtown Charleston and ended up opening fire on nine people taking their lives. To Dylann Roof, here's what I have to say...

Dylann,

     On that faithful June day, you entered a place of worship. This place had done no harm to you, nor did it affect you in any way shape or form. On June 17th, you entered this church with aspirations of starting a race war. Unbeknownst to you, you did just the opposite for the state of South Carolina. Because of your acts of anger, you actually brought the people of the Palmetto state closer than they had been in years. There were no acts of anger towards opposing races, only acts of love and support for those who had lost love ones. We as a state lost a senator who had done so much good for our state, not only as an African-American, but as a Christian.

     Dylann, you are not much older than I am. As someone who has grown up in a Christian household, and has served in numerous leadership positions throughout my schooling, I have seen what anger and violence has done to America. Your intentions were nothing but hate, pure hate. You intended to tear that city apart, you intended to tear this state apart but you failed. We, not only as South Carolinians, but as Christians stood strong and backed our brothers and sisters who lost their lives during your violent acts. At only twenty, I could never imagine taking someones life, much less someone that I don't even know in hopes of starting a war...but you did.

     To you, Dylann, I only have a few things to say:

1. You tried to be a hero for "the whites," but you failed.
2. You tried to start a race war, but you failed.
3. You tried to make a name for yourself, but as a hero, and you failed.
4. You tried to win the hearts of many people, but you failed.
5. You tried to take "justice" into your own hands, but you failed.

     I may never understand why you did the things that you did. As someone who has still not completely come to terms with the ways of this world, I don't understand how you could try and take "justice" into your own hands. You took so many things from people. You took a father, a son, a husband, a wife, a pastor, a friend, a confidant, a homemaker, a senator, from so many people but most importantly you failed at taking the spirits of these people from this earth. These nine lives left so much more on this earth than you took away. Yes, they may be gone, but their love for Christ and their personalities and hopes and dreams will never fade away. 

     Now I know where you have been. To be ridiculed, bullied, laughed at, mocked, picked on is no fun. I have been there. I have been that person who has been laughed at and made fun of behind my back, but that my friend will never end. In this world, you have to pick and choose your battles, and to me fighting back is never the option. I get back at these bullies by proving them wrong. Showing them how far I have gone while they sit on their butts back home and do nothing. I am a 20 year old senior in college who has worked for three summers with special needs kids, who volunteers in her spare time, who is a full time student and holds a full time job. I never see my family because I work for what I have. I have had to grow up and learn so much not because I was forced, but because I saw what needed to be done and I did it. I have been apart of student council since I was in seventh grade. I have mentored girls younger than me, I am consistently that confidant that they can come to because of how much I care about others. I always get told I have a heart that is too huge for others to fathom, I am wise beyond my years, and that is why I chose to write this letter.

    Though you may never read this, you must know that you didn't win. You, Dylann, did not succeed in your hopes. You made me proud to be a South Carolinian because you showed this state what it could do in the face of adversity. We came together, as South Carolinians, as Christians, and as brothers and sisters. We took back what was ours and showed you that we were better. We could have been like other cities and turned to violence like you had hoped, but we didn't. We won. We showed the country, the world, what we could do, and who we were. Ultimately, you gave those nine the best gift of their lives. Though they were taken far too soon, you gave them the gift of meeting Jesus. That gift that was well deserved for their courageous acts, and their faith in Him. They won. On that day, Jesus got to see nine of His children come home to Him. He got to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." He got to love on them, and give them a pain free life and a new adventure. He won. Do you  see the theme here? Everyone won, while you failed.

     All I can say is thank you. Thank you for bringing hope back to this state. Thank you for bringing a sense of belonging back to these people. Thank you for showing this state that we are still a family. And thank you for showing us that at the end of the day, we are better. I hope and pray that one day you come to peace with your actions and pray to God for forgiveness, because ultimately He is the only one who could grant you peace. You are better than this. You deserve an eternity of golden streets and endless love. We are all sinners, and deserve nothing, but thanks to God we are blessed and fortunate to be given an eternity with Him. 

     Whether you see this or not, I pray for you. I pray that you can repent for your actions and show the world that you are better than June 17th, 2015. You are not alone, Dylann, but because you failed, we won.

Lauren.

     

I still miss you.

Four years ago I went to sleep knowing that my grandma was going to meet Jesus soon. Little did I know it would be that night. 

Four years have passed and I made it through senior year and graduation without you. All of this happened after telling you that you would make it to my graduation, yet you didn't even make it to my senior year. 

Now as I enter my senior year of college you are on my mind. Oh the things I have accomplished that I wish you would have been here to witness. The things I have done, the people I have met, the places I've gone, all with you in mind. 

It's been a rough four years. And the days grow harder knowing it's been that much longer since I saw you. I can't bring myself to go to the grave anymore because of the pain it brings. Knowing that I am talking to the ground with you underneath is so unsettling. 

I long for the hugs and your sweet smile. Your bright blue eyes that I see in my dad every time I look at him. My love for traveling that I acquired from countless road trips with you and Pa. Hearing someone laugh and it sounding like you. I miss the times you'd do your little sigh or say "what Rufus?" to Pa when he kept yelling your name. I miss the trips to michaels to buy us beads to play with when we were at your house, or the flat grilled cheeses or the sugary oatmeal, and especially your cookies and red velvet cake. 

Nothing will ever replace you, no one ever could. I miss you so much grandma, and it took me this long to put this into words. 

As I lay here in my camp bed, tears rolling down my face I know that you are so much happier now than you ever were here. Every time I see a butterfly I think of you. 

"But I still miss you, all the times we spent together, to hear you talk about the weather I always prayed you'd get well soon. I wish my prayers came true, I know that Jesus has the answer, and He's way bigger than the cancer in you, but I still miss you."

This has been the hardest week yet without you here. I love you so much grandma. ❤️